She-Ra, Princess of Power

I’ve been hearing more and more that women don’t identify their ambitions and clarify their “power” and purpose until quite late in their career – and this seems to be getting in the way of achieving our own career success.

I’m wondering why? Do we assume that because we’re women, we aren’t powerful? Do we think people won’t take us seriously? Are we afraid of stuffing up?

Stop and think for a minute about what we could all achieve if we could really grasp and wield our unique power. Until you work out what your own power actually looks like, you’ll never find out.

I spent a lot of my life thinking that academic achievement would be the key to my success. As it turns out, when I learned to give due credit to some of my other key strengths, a whole lot more became possible for me. Turns out, what’s really been behind much of my own success – as a leader, a coach, a friend – is my ability to create rapport and trust very quickly, my listening skills, my ability to ask insightful questions, and the warmth and calm that I bring for others.

Who would have thought? When I did eventually learn this lesson, I finally felt like I fit in my own skin, and the impact I can have on others has been amazing to see.

She-Ra!

For my fellow kids of the ‘80s – remember She-Ra and He-Man? He-Man was powerful in the traditional sense of the word. Super-human strength, indestructible skin, stamina. But She-Ra, while strong, used combat as a last resort. She was fast, acrobatic, empathetic, cunning and intelligent. And may I boldly suggest – just as powerful.

In fact, it seems this unlikely combination of traits, a “strange amalgamation of sword fighting and hair combing” meant that toy stores didn’t know whether to stock the She-Ra action figure with the Barbies or the superheroes.

She broke the mould.

Actually, I’d suggest that in this day and age, there IS no mould.  Society doesn’t always know what to do with “powerful women”. Perhaps the reason for this is that we haven’t really gotten to the bottom of what “powerful” actually looks like. And that’s because it looks different for everyone.

Your Own Secret Source of Power

So how about you? Shall we uncover your own unique power source?

Let’s first take a super quick look at what “power” actually means. Here’s my favourite definition:

“the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others or the course of events”

I love the thought of power as the ability to influence. It removes the notion of power as strength and makes room for much more nuance.

So are you ready to uncover your own secret power source? Here’s how:

Step 1:    THINK

Write down at least 15 things about you that you think send signals to others that you are worth reckoning with. This could be:

• Things that are innately you (your presence, sense of humour, self-esteem, reflectiveness)
• Things that people see (your communication skills, things you wear, expertise, behaviour, talent, physical attributes)
• Things that link you to others (your networks, your reputation, your social skills, your cultural attributes)
• Things in your environment (your position, role or title, your house, your organisation)

It’s really important that you don’t just stop after the first few points that come to mind. We all have our obvious strengths that first jump out, but if you dig a little deeper, you’ll uncover those more subliminal things about you where the power to influence really lies.

Step 2:    ASK

Ask a few people who know you well what THEY think you do, have or are, that is particularly influential. Ask people both from work and from your personal life.

Step 3:    REFLECT

When you look at these lists, what themes can you see coming out? What really resonates with you? Which elements, if you were to put them on, would fit like a glove and really feel like you?

Step 4:    PLAY

Now for the fun part. Play with your newly-discovered power. Pick an attribute or a combination of attributes, consciously use them in a variety of situations. Play around with all your different sources of power. Try different things on for size.

Step 5:    OBSERVE

Notice what happens when you purposefully engage your own source of power.

• How did you feel?
• What did you think?
• What did you do?
• What did the other person do?
• What was the result?
• Did it work for you? How could you tweak it for next time?

It’s in the noticing and conscious use of our own sources of power where the real influence happens.

I promise you – you HAVE the power.

I challenge you to go and find it.

I’m Walking the Talk. Come With Me?

For a while now I’ve been immersing myself in the world of careers, workplace coaching and executive leadership. I’m really passionate about people being their most successful selves at work – in whatever shape or form that takes for them.

Now it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly on my very own career journey, and I can’t wait! I’m saying goodbye to my comfy stable job, and heading into the exciting and terrifying world of running my own business – my portfolio career, if you will. And my mission is to help people find fulfilment in their work, take control of their own career and leadership path, and feel highly successful in whatever it is they choose to do.

And I’d love for you to come along with me!

Because as it turns out, there’s something inside me that I can’t hold back any longer – I have a MASSIVE stash of enthusiasm, thoughts, knowledge and ideas that I need to share about how to, in a nutshell, Love. Your. Work.

So I’m just going to start sharing it! With whoever it resonates with (hopefully not just my dog…)

“But Karina” you say, “work is not exactly fun and games. Why would I want to read about it, after spending all day doing it?” Well, here is my promise to you:

• I promise to write interesting stuff about finding work you love, and succeeding on your chosen path (if you want stodgy boring articles – look elsewhere)
• I promise to write about the things that really get up your nose about work – and what to do about them
• I promise to give you heaps of practical tips and ideas
• I promise to help you be your most successful self
• I promise to help you to really, truly, actually, love your work

I’ve been working towards this path for a while now, and it’s time for me to take the leap. And I’m so excited about it.

So – this is me, walking the talk about loving your work. I hope you'll join me!

Feeling Successful – On Your Own Terms!

What makes me feel successful might be the complete opposite to what makes you feel successful. And that’s quite OK, so long as we are both acting in ways which move us closer to our version of success.

Let me give you an example.

Imagine two people who studied law together. One has a career in corporate litigation, becoming a senior partner in a prestigious law firm, in charge of a large number of staff, earning a very big salary, and working long hours in the office each day. The other spends many years working for an NGO as a poorly paid human rights lawyer, travelling overseas to remote locations and advocating for the disadvantaged.

Who would you say is the most “successful”?

It depends, of course, on how each defines and measures success for themselves – both in their careers and their lives. As outsiders, we can only speculate. Perhaps the first lawyer measures success by the hours they put in at work, the size of their annual bonus, or the prestige of the cases they take on. The second lawyer might measure success by the number of people they help, the relationships they build on the way, or by the accolades they receive for their work.

So consider, for each of the different roles you play in life – as a mother, an employee, a partner, a daughter, a friend, a business owner, a member of a sports team – what does success mean to you? The truth is, it really doesn’t matter what success means, so long as your decisions and actions get you closer to achieving it. And that’s why it’s so important to figure out how you measure success for yourself.

Here are some questions to get you started:

• What is truly important to you?
• What gives you the strongest sense of achievement?
• What drives and motivates you?
• What kind of life do you want?
• In 5 years, what does your most successful future look like?
• Who do you most admire, and why? What do you think drives them?
• What are your strengths, and how do they contribute to you achieving success?
• What are you inspired to create and share and be?

And remember, how you define success can change over the course of your life. Think of that high-powered corporate lawyer who spent 16 hours a day in the office, or that in-the-trenches human rights lawyer who spent six months of every year travelling overseas. Perhaps they both, after successful ten-year careers, had children. Perhaps each of their priorities shifted a bit, and achieving a good work-life balance became their new measure of success. Now each is looking for ways to maintain success in their career, while also being with their children as they grow up.

This doesn’t mean that they have to give up the things that used to be important to them. But the decisions they make will be tempered by their current priorities. Perhaps the high-powered corporate lawyer looks at how they can work from home some of the time – maintaining their salary but spending more time with their children. Perhaps the human-rights lawyer looks for a cause closer to home where they can still put their skills to use in the service of humanity, without having to travel so much.

No matter what, until you work out what being successful really means to you, you’ll never quite know whether to take that new job, whether to work full or part-time, whether to be a stay-at-home mum, whether to quit that tedious job and follow your dreams, whether to live in the city or by the beach…

When you’ve worked out what success really means for you, the rest just doesn’t seem as hard. Your decisions and your actions become no-brainers. You now have a crystal clear barometer for everything you do. Your measures of success become your sign posts for making those tough decisions, and suddenly they don’t seem quite so tough.

Being a Mum in Biz

So…. Perhaps you’re already a mum in business. You have your little ones, you run your own business, you take care of things at home. Perhaps you even have a “day-job” as well. Lots of balls in the air, lots of demands on your time. And a quiet but ever-present question about whether you can manage it all – whether you’re good enough, whether you’re tough enough, whether you’ve got what it takes.

Or perhaps you’re not in business yet, but you have an idea burning away that just won’t leave you alone. There’s a passion there, whispering at you to follow it. A rut that needs climbing out of. But that leap into business-land seems just a little too big, a little too scary.

In my own life, I noticed that I was increasingly unhappy and unfulfilled in my job. Starting up my own coaching and facilitation business gave me a way to make a meaningful contribution to the world, to pursue something I was passionate about, and of course to meet the most amazing people.

Have I worked harder than I ever have in my life? Yes…

Did I spend more money in the first six months than I earned? Oh yes…

Have I found myself spending more time away from my children than I anticipated? Yes…

But have I been a happier, more engaged mother when I’ve been with them? Absolutely!

Have I felt a fulfilment that I didn’t realise was possible? You bet.

And have I resented the time spent? The money invested? Not for a second.

Now, that’s not to say that it’s always easy. There’s a lot about being in business that’s uncertain, sometimes there are more questions than answers. There’s an ever-present doubt about whether this is really for me and whether I’ve got what it takes.

You need a certain something to be a business owner – it’s a journey of self-discovery, determination and strength. When you get clear on why you’re really doing this, on what your unique contribution to the world is, and how to be confident and resilient while you do it, you will have built your solid foundation as a business owner.

And then anything is possible!